My grandmother is one of my role models. More so than anyone else, I get my sense of independence from her. She raised 3 kids on her own and never asked anyone for anything. She always expressed to me how important it is to be able to take care of you and that you should never depend on a man for that. Her dad was useless and so was her babies daddy... So maybe her perception was a little tainted... Nonetheless...its the source of my development of the following views:
1) Digging for gold only gets you coal. Truth be told, it's not hard to find a man who will shower you with stuff. Men have different approaches to getting the pu-nan... And a lot associate material items with sex. You get that new Coach purse and he gets the cooch. For a while, you may not have an issue with that...but eventually you will grow up. And when you do, you'll realize that you're probably with a man who can shower you with material things but not love, support, affection, or true companionship.
2) If I want it, I can get it myself. It's nice to have someone surprise you with jewelry to show you they care... (by all means, don't stop :D) but expecting them to buy everything from your deodorant to your tampons, your sandals to your winter coat is ridiculous. What are YOU going to do for YOU if you require/let him do e-ver-y-thing?! More importantly, I think women too often associate whether or not a man is a "good" one by his ability to take care of you. The problem with that is that women don't seem to think men are allowed to expect the same thing. If I were a man, and I had a girl expecting me to fully provide for her, pay for every date, use all my gas going to see her... I would never marry her. How would I know she a) understands that relationships are 50/50 b) would be able to take care of me?
3) I can buy my own dinner, and yours too. This has been a hot topic in past dating-ships, relationships and conversations with friends about the expectations of men and women who are dating. I had a man who got upset with me because I paid for my own McDonalds during a study break. No, I'm not trying to insult your man-hood...but I'd have to pay for it if you weren't here... So what's the big deal?! and the first time I paid for his dinner, it was like this epic ordeal. We both work hard, and it would be selfish to think that my money is too precious spend but yours is not. Furthermore, I've heard women say that they won't kiss a guy at the end of the night who didn't pay for everything. What the fuck does paying have to do with kissing?! I also know some girls who are put off by the idea of a man using a coupon on a first date. What the hell difference does it make if he spent 100% or 75%?! You won't date him again because this man capitalized on a bargain?! As far as I'm concerned there are 3 general rules to determining who pays for a date:
A) If you say you want to take me somewhere, you pay.
B) If I say I want to take you somewhere (don't worry, it will actually happen), I pay.
C) If we mutually agree to go somewhere or try something out, we split it.
* If you continuously invite me places, I will offer to pay all or pay half at least 50% of the time.
4) One day, I will be barefoot, pregnant and useless. Knowing that I'm going to have to allow my husband to provide for me 100% makes my stomach queasy. So, if we are dating (and I could see myself marrying you), occasionally I'll say something like, "I've got this one... Because one day I will be preggers and useless". Don't question it, just give me a kiss and drink your drink.
* as usual, will edit any spelling or grammatical errors later
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great insight as usual.
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