Theme music for this posting....
From what I gather, people should be blogging about their worst sexual encounters today. Being the relationship girl, I don't have much to report. One of the beauties of being in a relationship (besides the companionship, hand holding, having someone share their last piece of cheesecake with you) is your genuine desire to make the other person's sexual desires and needs your priority. As such, I'm just going to blog about something I was completely outraged over after a conversation with a dear friend of mine yesterday.
Side note about this friend: I don't know how he knows, because we've never been intimate, but he can always tell when I've gotten some and when I haven't. Apparently, my entire demeanor changes. As such, I can talk to him openly about whatever is on my mind about sex, ask questions for a guys perspective, etc.
Anywho, my buddy celebrated his birthday this weekend. So naturally, I ask him what he did and if he got any great birthday head/sex. He said "no" to head [crickets] and then "no" to sex [louder crickets]. At which point, I had a rash response and told him he could never marry her. Here nor there. Here's the point. You are in a committed monogamous relationship. You'd be livid if he went and got birthday head/sex elsewhere. This is your girlfriendly duty. On this day, you are his sex slave. You make your own homemade freaking whip cream and make it do what it do. This man makes your bed (which makes no sense, because you're going to just jump back into it), he deals with your whack friends, he doesn't get sex from you on a daily basis and he picks up tomatoes from the store when you ask (even when he doesn't feel like it). This is his ONE day of the year that's just for him. Unless you are sick and dying, out of my presence for reasons beyond your control, as my boo.... you need to provide me mind blowing birthday head and sex. Fuck cake, candles, flowers (though, I want all that too) GIVE ME HEAD!
And he better not put his tongue nowhere near her girl parts come her birthday. You hear me?! Better. Damn. Not.
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THIS is HIILLLAARRRIOUS but too true. For her to be that selfish is Rude,Disrespectful,Uncalled for and should be reprimanded as such! There would most definitely be a protest, and i agree when you say don't get no where NEAR the cooch when it's her special day...I know this will be hard but Remain strong andf regain some control!
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