Thursday, December 30, 2010

Hates Acquired in 2010

Auto Maintenance Costs: My father is a mechanic.  Every car issue I had (while living in Texas) was resolved by purchasing the parts and taking it to my dad.  This whole “pay for oil changes, tires, rotations, fuel injection cleanings, washing” thing is getting super old.  All these brainy people are trying to figure out how to make fuel out of fart fumes, great.  Why don’t you make car that doesn’t need any of this crap?  Why can’t I just pay the car note and be done?  Furthermore, this whole tires thing.  I think America has it wrong.  The streets/highways of this great country are what is wearing my tires down.  Not I.  So why do I have to buy new tires?  Shouldn’t the State of Maryland be reimbursing me for the damage they’ve done to my personal belongings?  I vote yes.

Broke (Black) Young Professionals: I’m currently young (though 26 is knocking), black and broke.  HOWEVER, I was unemployed for half of the year.  We all know money doesn’t grow on trees, so for a while I had to play the “groceries vs cable” game.  I get that.  But for those who were consistently employed for the entire year… WTF do you do with your money!?  Why is it that we can never coordinate ANY event that costs money?!  I’m a planner, I try to give people advance notice to get their finances together.  People can’t commit to bowling because it costs $20 a person.  REALLY?!  I mean… really?  I’m tired of never doing anything because everyone is broke.  Let’s do better in 2011, please.  Thanks.

Boogerwolves That Think They Are Cute: Self confidence is an amazing gift.  And curse.  I’m not the world’s expert on attractive.  Pretty to me may be ugly to someone else.  Though, I will take this time to note that every girl with light skin and long hair is not automatically pretty.  Anywho, it’s the ugly ones who are overly confident and then excessively rude that get me.  Don’t get upset because you want to pass through this super crowded section of the club and I don’t bow at your command.  A, you’re a girl and that’s not my social duty.  B, you’re face doesn’t demand that kind of action from… any of us.  So politely say excuse me as you squeeze by and work on making your rude ass attitude compensate for everything else.

Bitch Type #6: Got all that mouth but can’t step bitches (from Types of Bitches): On several occasions this year, I’ve been placed in situations with women (& men) have come at me sideways and then didn’t follow through.  I understand.  I’m small.  Smiley and not threatening looking at all.  However, I recommend you not be confused to my reaction in the following scenario –

Jerica accidentally (& gently)bumps into girl while dancing.  Jerica immediately touches her arm and says “I’m sorry”.  Girl looks at Jerica then throws her drink at her.

Queue Jerica’s inner “hood baby” who instantly goes into “What the f*ck is wrong with you?!” while screaming in your face mode.  At this point, I’m requesting that you say something back… simply follow through.  Instead, this particular female just looked at me, blankly.  Then, when we are all escorted out… you and your friends want to apologize and say it was an “accident”.  You want to throw drinks and shit…FOLLOW THROUGH.

Bill Collectors: I’m not ashamed that I got behind on the majority of my bills while unemployed.  It’s the nature of the (non)business.  During this time, I grew to understand why people hate bill collectors.  It’s not just that they call 42 times a week, but that they don’t listen.  When you called, I explained to you my situation.  I also told you that I planned to make an online payment on a certain date.  So whyyyyyy when you call are you asking me if I can make a payment today?  I can’t, I’ve already told you when I can pay.  Do I want to set up a payment with you right now with a service fee of $10?  Why the hell would I want to do that, when I can pay on-line for free?!  Do I know that this is impacting my credit? Um, yes.  How about this?  How about you take the information I give you as fact and just make notes accordingly?  You’re not going to punk me into sending you $800 I don’t have.  Sooooooo don’t waste your time, or mine.  And don’t get mad when I get an attitude.  You’re interrupting MY day and reminding me of some crap I already know about.  Thanks.  Ass wipe.

Women’s Restrooms:  I’ve always hated this but in 2010, my level of hate was revitalized.  No wonder so many women in America are without men.  You hoes are nasty!  Sometimes, simply walking in the women’s restroom at the mall makes me want to vomit.  Between the un-flushed, pee decorated toilets, toilet paper and mysterious puddles on the floor, open tampons/pads in the stalls and baby poop left on the changing tables… It’s just too much.  I realize this is a graphic description, but you need to know what I’m dealing with.  Additionally, I’m like a mom in that I I’m always wiping down counters.  At the mall, the club, wherever a counter has been left trickled with soapy water… I follow up with a dry towel.  It just irks me that no one else cares.  And the cake topper of 2010 restroom annoyances was the girl who peed in a cup, then on the floor in the restroom at the club.  In front of everyone.  And left the cup on the counter.  The only one that I DID not dry in 2010.

I promise to try to write more consistently in 2011.  Happy New Year!