Saturday, September 4, 2010

To Date or Not To Date

I've been judged for being a serial monogamist.  "Date", "have fun", "you're young, you don't need to be in serious relationships"... I've been told.  Truth is, I like [love] being someone's somebody.  I guess being single and having fun seems appealing to a lot of people, but I'd much rather have my love by my side every night.  Maybe I believe in fairy tales...

Conclusively, that's some ole bulllllllshit!

I'm starting to have a better understanding of the other end of the spectrum.  Men are stupid.  All of them.  For one reason or another.  They do stupid things.  (Women are also stupid).  However, when you're not in a relationship...it doesn't make sense to deal with one person's stupid antics.  Too many other people will hang out with you and get you ice cream.  Either way, the formal dating process still doesn't appeal to me and here's why:


It forces people to be socially awkward - I don't want to go out with who you think I think you are.  I don't want you to hit me with your professional and private resume of great qualities.  At the end of the day, we all know you suck in one way or another... just like I do.  Let's just stop by Redbox, order a meat lover's pizza (with no pepperoni) and get to know each other.

It sets unrealistic expectations - This tight little black dress that shows off my teeny waist and my little curves and 4-inch heels are not what I wear everyday.  I don't normally wear make-up and usually sit "indian style" everywhere I go (outfit permitting).  You need to know in advance that I say ridiculous/offensive things all the time. That's who I am.  Similarly, men are usually exceptionally well-groomed for dates.  You smell nice.  In real life... you smell less nice.  I need to know ahead of time if I can deal with your man funk.  If I can't deal with your man funk, I can't deal with you.

It sets unrealistic expectations - Buying me dinner does not mean we're having sex.  Or that you can feel me up.  Pretty self explanatory.

Bottom line is this - You want to "date" me?  You have to engage me, request my presence and allow me to feel comfortable around you.  After we've done that, we can do the official dating thing.  Dates are way more fun if you're already comfortable with the person. One day all this will end in someone reeling me in and wife'n me up.  For everyone who missed the boat, I'll just be the one that got away.

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