I'm a girly girl. I would never consider myself to be one of the guys, I don't drink beer, I can't sit through and entire game (on TV). The exception is football. Love football, plus the nice butts and physical aggressiveness involved doesn't hurt. Generally, I'm more comfortable in a circle of guys, talking about sex and whether the girl who just walked by has an ass which outweighs the confusing situation going on with her face.
I can also be an emotional, confusing girl... Just like we all are. However, I'd like to think that I'm logical, (on avg) 90% of the time. I have found that the majority of women are...not. I don't think some of them even know what it means to be logical (men involved or not).
Conclusively, I've found that bitches just aren't my thing. I have maintained very few close friendships with girls and you know what? The failures? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and blame them, for two reasons. I always think I'm right and this is my blog...I do what I feel! Here are a couple of things women do that drive me to befriend testicles over tits:
1) If you're pretty and you know it, clap your hands. *clap, clap* I cannot stand women who look to their girlfriends to constantly compliment them. That's what your man, faux boo, sideline groupies, parents and grandparents are for. If my friend looks hot, of course I'm gonna give her an "Ooooohhhh! You look hot/pretty/etc". But the "I feel so ugly today, do I look ugly?!" comment she makes to get me to say "Of course not, you're beautiful always!"...is only gonna piss me off. In fact, it's caused me to give undesired responses like "maybe you should wear more make-up" or "maybe you should call in sick, because you look it".
2) If a man is trying to date you it's clear. He's around all time time. He calls/texts/chats with you regularly during the week. He pays for things when he says he's going to take you somewhere. I don't want to talk to you about the seemingly obvious. "Why haven't I heard from in a week?!" I couldn't tell you, because unless he's the last man on earth without a cell phone, a Google account or out of the country... He's probably not that into you. No matter HOW busy a man is, he will always make time if he's interested. This stands for anyone in your life. I don't want to dissect every text/convo you ever had to figure out where the hell he went. Ask him, because I don't know.
3) I don't understand spending $500 on one purse. I've never understood it, I never will. Supposedly it's a status thing. The way I look at it is - "this broke hoe saved up for this one pricey ass purse. She just has this one. It's the only one you'll ever see because she really can't afford to have multiple". I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this way. I'd rather blow $500 in H&M.
4) I don't like talking about my feelings. Feelings make you weak, vulnerable and susceptible to emotions you probably don't have a good handle on. Girls like to talk about their feelings ALL THE TIME. Some of the biggest fights I've had with the people I'm closest to were because I held all my feelings inside and then just emotionally leaked and they had no clue what the hell happened. Now, I understand that approach is flawed... I'm working on it. However, one of the reason's my main bitch is the main bitch is because we don't have to talk about our feelings all the damn time. Example:
Dana: I want some Jack Daniels and I need to grind on strangers.
Jerica: Noted. Whatcha wearing?!
Dana: Jerica, why are you always plaguing me with details?!
Jerica: Because, clothes are important.
See? We had an entire convo without having to talk about it all. Jack Daniels? She probably had an exceptionally obnoxious day at work and wants to kill everyone there more so than usual. Grinding on strangers means that either A) We haven't done it in a while or B) Her main squeeze is working her nerves and grinding on a perfect stranger and then leaving him standing there when she's done, numberless, nameless and uncomfortably satisfied would suit her well that evening.
5) A lot of women have this "I don't need a man but I want him to fill up my tank" mentality that irks the shit out of me. The idea of being a trophy wife or having some random dude funding my trips makes my skin crawl. I'm not offended if I'm dating a guy and he falls back on going out so much because money is funny. In fact, I appreciate your financial responsibility. That doesn't make you cheap, or sorry, it just means all this Maggiano's is adding up! I can't sit here and listen to you bash this man because he doesn't want to buy you last minute tickets to see Drake. Stop being a gold diggin' hoe!
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