Over the years, some of the people who have burned me the most were people I considered to be my best friends. In the past 6-8 months, I have experienced some major life changes and in those changes, found out some truths about people that I considered to be irreplaceable. As a friend, I have a very definitive set of things I do for those I consider to be my friends:
1) Friendships work both ways, no matter the structure of your friendship. I have friends that I hardly ever speak to, text, email, etc. It's just the nature of our friendship. If we are ever in the same town, there is no doubt that we are going to hang out, catch up and have a great time. If you normally communicate via text, chat, phone, Skype, etc. it is the responsibility of both parties to keep this flow going. In general, I'm not a phone person, my friends know that I don't expect them to call me and shouldn't anticipate my calls. However, I will text/chat with you all day. It is still not solely my responsibility to initiate this communication. If I'm important to you, you will communicate with me in the means that you like most. For example, I have a friend who would prefer to talk over texting. So we try to alternate between the two. He will text for me, I talk for him.
2) Friends tell friends the truth. This is probably one of the things my friends would say they like least about me. However, I want my friends to be honest with me and I can only expect to do the same. Like I mentioned earlier, I have been burned by friends. I've over-exerted myself for them, only to receive nothing (not a favor when I needed it or a simple "Thank You" in return). Not only was I depressed for a semester of college when I realized those people weren't my true friends, it made me consider what I will and won't tolerate in a friendship. Some things might not seem like a big deal to others, but it's what I know is best for me. If you are my friend and you do something I can't tolerate, I'm going to tell you. I tell you because I love you, I want you to know why I'm acting differently towards you and I'd like to fix it. If you aren't my friend, you get nothing. As my friend, I expect you to do the same. Let me know I have wronged you versus me hearing from a third party that I pissed you off and you're no longer talking to me.
3) Friends are not selfish. I'm not Burger King, mofo. I like to please people, but I'm not a people pleaser. You want someone to tell you you're pretty or be around whenever you decide you're ready, keep rolling past this station because I'm not the one. I have a friend who has always used me. Used me to help plan her life, decorate her apartment, create her budgets but very rarely is open to do things for me. I try to keep in contact with this friend, because I truly care about her... But in every attempt she proves my point. I can never talk to her without her asking me to do some sort of favor. I've been through a break up, a lay off, a move, a job change, adopted a dog and she NEVER asks me about any of that. She just tells me what I said I would do and didn't. I don't mention all the times she has said she would visit me and hasn't. I've over-invested and now I'm giving that stock away to someone who will tolerate your bullshit.
4) Friends are there when you need them. Even if they don't continuously say so. I have a few people who actually "know" me. As such, I don't have to constantly tell them when I need a hug, a boob squeeze or some tequila. They just know and they check on me. I do the same for them. Note: If when I ask you if your doing alright, you always say "Nothing is wrong... I will tell you if there is"... I'm not going to do this as often. As your friend, I will drop/change all my plans if you say you need me. If that means I'm sitting and helping you drink half pitchers of margaritas (even though I'd already been drinking and I planned to stop for a few hours) I'm gonna do that. Because that's what will make you feel better. And in the long run, I will feel better too :D
5) Friends understand that you cannot always be their friend. I don't do well with needy friends. As previously discussed, I will tell you that I think you may have more needs than what I can handle. I warn you that I'm not good at maintaining those types of relationships. I will let you decide versus being a shitty friend to you. It may be best that we don't continue to be friends. With exes, this also applies. Any ex I've ever had, I can't be your friend at first. As my boyfriend, you were placed in a different category than anyone else in my life. Depending on the reasons we parted, I can try but probably won't be able to be cool with you instantly. I would love to maintain those relationships, but unfortunately you're still in that "he will never let me down" category. And friends always let friends down. Intentionally or not, and that's something I've learned I can't tolerate. If I keep trying anyway... Well damnit, you're special.
6) Friends don't flake on you without letting you know they are going to flake. I understand things change, plans change, shit comes up, people get tired... we are all guilty of it. There have plenty of times where I'm looking forward to going out all day long and when it finally comes down to it... I've lost the energy, desire, motivation. If this happens, I'm going to give my friends the courtesy of letting them know as soon as I feel that way... so they can update their plans accordingly. Friends ask you to do things because they care about you and they want to hang out with you; if you can't always do that... fine. But show them you care about them by being a tad bit courteous.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The 4AM Post
If I could have stayed up later to prevent this, I would have... but I was just too tired. Since I went to bed before 8:30PM, I woke up at 3:00AM with nothing to do. This is just an assortment of random things that are on my mind right now....
1) White eyeliner, purple lip liner and the like - No one should be wearing either of these unless they are modeling in a make-up show or doing a photo shoot. When you wear white eyeliner (especially if your complexion is dark) you look like a deer in headlights. Purple lip liner.... you look like you just got punched in the mouth... all day long. With either, you look outdated. This was a huge trend when I was in intermediate/middle school... but it's 2010... vacuums can clean your floor without you... throw your white and purple pencils in the trash. Don't even go green; some things need not be recycled.
2) Halters and tube tops at work. I get that the dress code is casual in some work environments. However when you are making your daily commute home, your attire should make me wonder what you do for a living... not what club you are going to/coming from. I could maybe even tolerate a halter top at work if this was your first job and you honestly didn't know it wasn't acceptable. But slut, you're 40. Put on a real damn shirt before you show up to the place that pays you.
3) Infomercials suck.
4) I have really high expectations of people. That usually hurts me more than it hurts them. Why? Because I unfortunately expect you not to make "seemingly obvious" screw ups. Is it fair? No. Do I screw up? Definitely. I've had a lot of important people in my life disappoint me. If I "flip out" on you, it's probably because you've done something I didn't expect and I don't know how to process it. My apologies. Will squeezing my boobs make you feel better?
5) I'm a great catch. I have my flaws... just like everyone else. I have things that I have resolved to work on just for me... but when you get right down to it:
7) "It’s 2010. If you’re still not giving head, then you ought to be celibate." Courtesy of 20 rules of sex according to me. You said it, pumpkin tits.
8) After introductory pole dancing class this past Saturday, I'm definitely signing up for more classes. I was going to pay a personal trainer to help me get where I wanna be. F that. These classes are a 1/4 of the price, I'll get the same results, step up my sexy AND have a new skill set :o Josephines... here I come!
9) I love my female DC friends. You guys make life better. Now let's go get some shots and grind on strangers!
10) Day parties... great f-ing idea. It's not the prey-fest that clubs/lounges/bars lend you to and you can meet some pretty cool people.
11) I have a considerable amount of gangster in me. Just a friendly reminder.
Forcing myself back to sleep. Night all!
1) White eyeliner, purple lip liner and the like - No one should be wearing either of these unless they are modeling in a make-up show or doing a photo shoot. When you wear white eyeliner (especially if your complexion is dark) you look like a deer in headlights. Purple lip liner.... you look like you just got punched in the mouth... all day long. With either, you look outdated. This was a huge trend when I was in intermediate/middle school... but it's 2010... vacuums can clean your floor without you... throw your white and purple pencils in the trash. Don't even go green; some things need not be recycled.
2) Halters and tube tops at work. I get that the dress code is casual in some work environments. However when you are making your daily commute home, your attire should make me wonder what you do for a living... not what club you are going to/coming from. I could maybe even tolerate a halter top at work if this was your first job and you honestly didn't know it wasn't acceptable. But slut, you're 40. Put on a real damn shirt before you show up to the place that pays you.
3) Infomercials suck.
4) I have really high expectations of people. That usually hurts me more than it hurts them. Why? Because I unfortunately expect you not to make "seemingly obvious" screw ups. Is it fair? No. Do I screw up? Definitely. I've had a lot of important people in my life disappoint me. If I "flip out" on you, it's probably because you've done something I didn't expect and I don't know how to process it. My apologies. Will squeezing my boobs make you feel better?
5) I'm a great catch. I have my flaws... just like everyone else. I have things that I have resolved to work on just for me... but when you get right down to it:
- I'm pleasing to the eye
- I cook, bake, clean, do laundry
- I "have an addicting personality" - friend said it, not me
- Intelligent
- Driven, have my shit together
- Super Supportive
- Fun, sarcastic, silly
- If you are the object of my affection, I'm gonna wanna have sex with you everyday. Yes, everyday. I can be "trained" to have less sex, but I'm programmed for daily delight.
- I'm a great girlfriend, there are a lot of traits that go into that... I'll blog about it later....
7) "It’s 2010. If you’re still not giving head, then you ought to be celibate." Courtesy of 20 rules of sex according to me. You said it, pumpkin tits.
8) After introductory pole dancing class this past Saturday, I'm definitely signing up for more classes. I was going to pay a personal trainer to help me get where I wanna be. F that. These classes are a 1/4 of the price, I'll get the same results, step up my sexy AND have a new skill set :o Josephines... here I come!
9) I love my female DC friends. You guys make life better. Now let's go get some shots and grind on strangers!
10) Day parties... great f-ing idea. It's not the prey-fest that clubs/lounges/bars lend you to and you can meet some pretty cool people.
11) I have a considerable amount of gangster in me. Just a friendly reminder.
Forcing myself back to sleep. Night all!
One time for the big girls....
This is not a blog that is intended to offend anyone, but it probably will. I don't have anything against larger people and I don't think being small is the way to go. In fact, being Texan.. I'm usually with the "bigger is better" mentality.
However, with all this said, I think people should be more considerate of others as well as spatial constraints in crowded areas. So this blog is for fat (this does not apply to the thick girls, shine on) girls in the club:
Fat girls have more sweat than skinny girls. It's fact because they simply have more surface area. And they aren't afraid to attack you with it.
They generally roam in packs of 3 or more and move like stampedes. Fast, fat and hungry.
Big burly manly bitches. The dress doesn't fool anyone. You are a man.
Fat girls shouldn't try to move like skinny girls (in the club). Physically impossible. Can't fuckin do it. So when you're laughing with your girls and you're wildin out, please be mindful of your limbs. That shit hurts when you hit me.
I recommend not wearing pleather, shiny spandex or full on animal prints. I just don't think it's in your best interest.
You can't do the "Middle School Dance, girls circle with your shoes in the center" thing at the club. Consider this, compare the size of a circle made of Cheerios to one made of Glazed Donuts... Now, marinate on that.
Big girls need love too. I get it. But skinny girls need space as well. As such, can you re-arrange yourself accordingly? That's all I ask. We can all dance and have a good time if you'd just be a little more mindful. If I'm tipsy and "Get Silly", "Let Me See Yo Booty", "Pop, Lock and Drop It" or "Ride" come on... I can get caught up in the rapture and forget my "club bubble" I should be dancing in. Fortunately, my friends help me keep that in check. Big girls, bring your friends to the club that will act as that person for you. And "no", not the ones that let you leave the house with all that Spandex. She is not your friend. I know a lot of guys... and I can't think of one that appreciates that. Common misconception... lots of booty mass does not equal quality booty.
These are just the observations/requests of a skinny bitch.
However, with all this said, I think people should be more considerate of others as well as spatial constraints in crowded areas. So this blog is for fat (this does not apply to the thick girls, shine on) girls in the club:
Fat girls have more sweat than skinny girls. It's fact because they simply have more surface area. And they aren't afraid to attack you with it.
They generally roam in packs of 3 or more and move like stampedes. Fast, fat and hungry.
Big burly manly bitches. The dress doesn't fool anyone. You are a man.
Fat girls shouldn't try to move like skinny girls (in the club). Physically impossible. Can't fuckin do it. So when you're laughing with your girls and you're wildin out, please be mindful of your limbs. That shit hurts when you hit me.
I recommend not wearing pleather, shiny spandex or full on animal prints. I just don't think it's in your best interest.
You can't do the "Middle School Dance, girls circle with your shoes in the center" thing at the club. Consider this, compare the size of a circle made of Cheerios to one made of Glazed Donuts... Now, marinate on that.
Big girls need love too. I get it. But skinny girls need space as well. As such, can you re-arrange yourself accordingly? That's all I ask. We can all dance and have a good time if you'd just be a little more mindful. If I'm tipsy and "Get Silly", "Let Me See Yo Booty", "Pop, Lock and Drop It" or "Ride" come on... I can get caught up in the rapture and forget my "club bubble" I should be dancing in. Fortunately, my friends help me keep that in check. Big girls, bring your friends to the club that will act as that person for you. And "no", not the ones that let you leave the house with all that Spandex. She is not your friend. I know a lot of guys... and I can't think of one that appreciates that. Common misconception... lots of booty mass does not equal quality booty.
These are just the observations/requests of a skinny bitch.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Vent
Here's a request, don't put your hands on me like we share a sexual relationship. It doesn't make me want to interact with you. At all. It's a violation of my personal space. Perhaps I should compare this to doing something that would make you feel uncomfortable in this setting. Like if you've got some extra weight around your belt, I'll grab your belly fat. Or if you're short, I'll tap you on the head as I walk by. After you've decided that you were going to do that anyway... I did the initial "pull away to keep you from touching me" but you made a second attempt. When I swat your hands off of me, don't you dare push me (or follow it up by calling ME a bitch). Oh, you decided to do that shit anyway? Sir, you don't know me. I know I'm little. I know I don't look like a threat. Maybe you don't think I'm going to turn around and go hood baby on you or say anything at all. I don't have to welcome your inappropriate touching. When I make it clear that I'm not the one, respect that and keep it moving. In the words of the great Katt Williams, "It's nothing man, it's nothing... This shit right here nigga, nigga right here this shit?!" this shit will get you fucked up. Good night.
My apologies for the more than normal # of curse words; I'm pissed.
My apologies for the more than normal # of curse words; I'm pissed.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Let's talk about this...
Toe Sucking. I have a major issue with this if you are not an infant. For those that do enjoy toes, I would imagine a baby's are the most enticing as they do not yet bear the wear and tear of life. Maybe my "mommy" genes haven't fully kicked in yet, but I don't want ANYONE'S feet in my mouth. I bring this up because a friend recently told me he had a woman suck his toes. He posed this scenario to Dana and I, looking for some sort of rationale. I have none. I can only deduce a few things about a girl who sucks man toes:
Death Penalty by Firing Squad. This article baffled me on my way to work this morning. A man in Utah elected to die at the hands of a firing squad. Here is an article about him.
Whether you agree with the death penalty or not, does a firing squad not seem a little odd to you? I know it sparked a lot of questions for me, such as:
Finally, the article in the Express mentioned a few States having the firing squad as a back up in the event that lethal injection or the chair are declared unconstitutional. I'm sorry, I thought the whole debate was whether or not humans should "play God" and determine if someone lives or dies. I'm not sure how a firing squad is more constitutionally sound than lethal injection, unless you're in Texas. Anything can get blasted in Texas.
Chivalry is "dead". This is why. A while back, when leaving Filene's Basement, I witnessed an interesting scenario. The store has 3 sets of double doors. A young, professionally dressed, "well-kept" black man was at the door on the far left. Just as my friend and I approached this door, we noticed that he opened it for a young, white woman entering the store. Seeing this, the woman walked to the complete opposite door and left the man only with the ability to shake his head. What's this about?! Maybe she's doing the Destiny's Child "Independent Women" thing and would do this if any man opened the door for her. That doesn't explain the vivid fearful expression on her face. Maybe its a race thing. Maybe she's from SE DC and a nicely dressed black man makes her want to clutch her purse.
Forget her. I like to be self sufficient and all that jazz, but I do appreciate when a man opens a door for me or offers his seat on the Metro. However, I do not feel entitled to these things; you aren't going to get a stank look from me if you don't lay your blazer (Velvet, if you are African ;)) over a puddle so I don't get my toes wet. Women need to make a decision. Look for Captain Save a Hoe or don't. I'm not saying you are not entitled to a gentleman. I'm just saying if your ringtone is "She got her own", open your own damn door without feeling some kind of way about it.
- She can't share drinks/food/lip gloss with me.
- She also enjoys pigs feet.
- The weird aftertaste you have from mixing freshly brushed teeth with milk doesn't bother her.
- She will allow you to put anything, anywhere.
Death Penalty by Firing Squad. This article baffled me on my way to work this morning. A man in Utah elected to die at the hands of a firing squad. Here is an article about him.
Whether you agree with the death penalty or not, does a firing squad not seem a little odd to you? I know it sparked a lot of questions for me, such as:
- What's the selection process for the firing squad? Do they get paid over time?
- Is it like lethal injection in that families and other witnesses can attend?
- After the deed has been done (you know, he's been shot by a gang of people), who cleans it up?
- Do they remove the bullets for official records?
Finally, the article in the Express mentioned a few States having the firing squad as a back up in the event that lethal injection or the chair are declared unconstitutional. I'm sorry, I thought the whole debate was whether or not humans should "play God" and determine if someone lives or dies. I'm not sure how a firing squad is more constitutionally sound than lethal injection, unless you're in Texas. Anything can get blasted in Texas.
Chivalry is "dead". This is why. A while back, when leaving Filene's Basement, I witnessed an interesting scenario. The store has 3 sets of double doors. A young, professionally dressed, "well-kept" black man was at the door on the far left. Just as my friend and I approached this door, we noticed that he opened it for a young, white woman entering the store. Seeing this, the woman walked to the complete opposite door and left the man only with the ability to shake his head. What's this about?! Maybe she's doing the Destiny's Child "Independent Women" thing and would do this if any man opened the door for her. That doesn't explain the vivid fearful expression on her face. Maybe its a race thing. Maybe she's from SE DC and a nicely dressed black man makes her want to clutch her purse.
Forget her. I like to be self sufficient and all that jazz, but I do appreciate when a man opens a door for me or offers his seat on the Metro. However, I do not feel entitled to these things; you aren't going to get a stank look from me if you don't lay your blazer (Velvet, if you are African ;)) over a puddle so I don't get my toes wet. Women need to make a decision. Look for Captain Save a Hoe or don't. I'm not saying you are not entitled to a gentleman. I'm just saying if your ringtone is "She got her own", open your own damn door without feeling some kind of way about it.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Things that make me say "Hmmmmm"
I like to think that I'm a relatively simple girl. Of course I'm complicated when it comes to my innermost emotions and such, but for the most part... I'm a simple girl. I'm also a "serial monogamist". Often, friends ask me how it is that I'm always able to find a good guy and they can't. I don't have a good answer to that, as what is good for me might be terrible for them... or even that the grass isn't always as green as it looks. Either way, though I'm not in a relationship now, I have been very lucky in love. I fully attribute it to what I look for / appreciate in a man that is to be my "boo". Here are a few of the things (both meaningful and shallow) that impress me:
Sidenote: This post will soon be followed by one that details things that do NOT impress me.
1) You listen. I mean REALLY listen. I'm an open person for the most part it's not difficult to learn general information about me. I'm a talker. I have Facebook. Anyone can figure out where I went to school, that I like to shop and that I love bacon. However, if you remember the little things like... ordering my double cheeseburger with no onions or pickles or surprising me with a CD you remember me mentioning, I appreciate it. There are things that I have major issues with, like my inability to deal with people letting me down. This inability leads me to be very resistant to letting people in. I can't let you in if you don't listen. If we have met several times and on each occasion you ask "what do you do?", you have better odds of jumping off of a cliff and surviving than you do of getting more of my time. I'm not asking that you remember my title, date of hire, supervisors name.... I'm just asking that you remember that we have had this damn conversation.
2) Attentiveness. In addition to listening, it needs to be clear to me that I'm a priority to you. I'm not saying you have to spend all your time with me, or be constantly under me while we're together. I just like to know that you're concerned with me, whether or not I'm good... and if I'm not, you're willing to do something about it.
3) We can be goofy together. I am easily tickled by things. I do random things and have random thoughts that people can't always relate to. I like having someone in my life who also has these random outbursts and feels comfortable sharing them with me... and also doesn't look at me crazy when I do it.
4) I love blazers, ties, vests and a nice pair of drivers (boat shoes). A man that will allow me to dress him is impeccably wise, and such a turn on. These particular articles of clothing make my heart beat just a little (a lot) bit faster. I'm gonna make you look good. Some girls think that this is foolish of me, as I'm making you more marketable to other women... but it gives me a certain sense of pride. Especially when someone compliments you and you give me the credit.
5) You have to love to cuddle. That's pretty much it.
6) You can fluctuate between being a "mover and shaker" to a "couch potato". I love going out, dancing, and I love having my boo there. I also love ordering pizza and watching movies on the couch all day. I want you there for both.
7) You can stimulate me intellectually/socially/emotionally. I can talk about pretty much anything; I love having a conversation with you that makes me want to do some research, make a conscious decision to do something different in my day to day life, or feel extra warm and fuzzy inside because you've tapped into my emotions.
8) I love to spoil my boo. Some men don't know how to handle it. I just want you to smile, say thank you and give me the business. Simple as that.
9) You know how to make me feel comfortable. I like confident men, but not aggressive ones. Knowing how to make me feel safe with you is a huge deal. Additionally, I don't handle stress the best... your ability to put me at ease will not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
Sidenote: This post will soon be followed by one that details things that do NOT impress me.
1) You listen. I mean REALLY listen. I'm an open person for the most part it's not difficult to learn general information about me. I'm a talker. I have Facebook. Anyone can figure out where I went to school, that I like to shop and that I love bacon. However, if you remember the little things like... ordering my double cheeseburger with no onions or pickles or surprising me with a CD you remember me mentioning, I appreciate it. There are things that I have major issues with, like my inability to deal with people letting me down. This inability leads me to be very resistant to letting people in. I can't let you in if you don't listen. If we have met several times and on each occasion you ask "what do you do?", you have better odds of jumping off of a cliff and surviving than you do of getting more of my time. I'm not asking that you remember my title, date of hire, supervisors name.... I'm just asking that you remember that we have had this damn conversation.
2) Attentiveness. In addition to listening, it needs to be clear to me that I'm a priority to you. I'm not saying you have to spend all your time with me, or be constantly under me while we're together. I just like to know that you're concerned with me, whether or not I'm good... and if I'm not, you're willing to do something about it.
3) We can be goofy together. I am easily tickled by things. I do random things and have random thoughts that people can't always relate to. I like having someone in my life who also has these random outbursts and feels comfortable sharing them with me... and also doesn't look at me crazy when I do it.
4) I love blazers, ties, vests and a nice pair of drivers (boat shoes). A man that will allow me to dress him is impeccably wise, and such a turn on. These particular articles of clothing make my heart beat just a little (a lot) bit faster. I'm gonna make you look good. Some girls think that this is foolish of me, as I'm making you more marketable to other women... but it gives me a certain sense of pride. Especially when someone compliments you and you give me the credit.
5) You have to love to cuddle. That's pretty much it.
6) You can fluctuate between being a "mover and shaker" to a "couch potato". I love going out, dancing, and I love having my boo there. I also love ordering pizza and watching movies on the couch all day. I want you there for both.
7) You can stimulate me intellectually/socially/emotionally. I can talk about pretty much anything; I love having a conversation with you that makes me want to do some research, make a conscious decision to do something different in my day to day life, or feel extra warm and fuzzy inside because you've tapped into my emotions.
8) I love to spoil my boo. Some men don't know how to handle it. I just want you to smile, say thank you and give me the business. Simple as that.
9) You know how to make me feel comfortable. I like confident men, but not aggressive ones. Knowing how to make me feel safe with you is a huge deal. Additionally, I don't handle stress the best... your ability to put me at ease will not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Metro Courtesy
With my new found employment, I've had the pleasure of riding the Metro again. This post is from my Blackberry and are simply my requests for this Friday, June 4th.
1) Don't smell
2) If there are a ton of seats available, don't come sit next to me with all of your shit. I don't want to be smooshed up against the window because you have a purse, backpack stroller and a fanny pack. Get your own damn seat.
3) Let the old people sit down. They are old, they've earned it. And DC kids, don't roll your eyes at the old people who ask to take your spot in "Priority Seating"...
4)" These doors are not like elevator doors"... People hear it daily but apparently don't want to believe it. They will shut on your laptop bag, arm, wheelchair or child. You do not have a right of passage to yell at the Metro Gods because you've gotten yourself in this predicament. If anything, the train operator should pull off with your dumbass half in the door. After doing that, I bet you won't do that shit again. More importantly, if it's rush hour, calm the fuck down. I promise another train is coming in 2 (two) minutes... Unless you live on the Red line.
5) If you choose to ignore the request of the use of your common damn sense in #4, please heed this advice: After you have sacrificed your body, mind and dignity wrestling with the "sliding metal bastards" don't expect everyone that you've inadvertently violated on the train to be pleasant. No, I will not move. I will not relinquish my position holding the vertical poles and switch to monkey bar poles for you. You are not worthy.
6) Speaking of self worth, if you have determined that your life (or that of another) is not worthwhile, please resolve this issue in an area that is *not* a metro station. I'm very sorry that the only option you seem to have is to jump in front of a moving train or to push someone into one, however... I (and many other commuters) would really appreciate it if you stopped doing this. Especially during rush hour. Especially on the Red line. If you just can't find another effective method, could you maybe consider doing it at Huntington?
7) I don't want to hear your go-go bullshit. Turn it down or get some earphones (if you are blasting it from your phones speaker).
8) Don't fall asleep on me. I'm not your 'Sleep Number'.
9) Don't sneeze on the back of my neck. That shit is rude.
*I will spell check and format later*
1) Don't smell
2) If there are a ton of seats available, don't come sit next to me with all of your shit. I don't want to be smooshed up against the window because you have a purse, backpack stroller and a fanny pack. Get your own damn seat.
3) Let the old people sit down. They are old, they've earned it. And DC kids, don't roll your eyes at the old people who ask to take your spot in "Priority Seating"...
4)" These doors are not like elevator doors"... People hear it daily but apparently don't want to believe it. They will shut on your laptop bag, arm, wheelchair or child. You do not have a right of passage to yell at the Metro Gods because you've gotten yourself in this predicament. If anything, the train operator should pull off with your dumbass half in the door. After doing that, I bet you won't do that shit again. More importantly, if it's rush hour, calm the fuck down. I promise another train is coming in 2 (two) minutes... Unless you live on the Red line.
5) If you choose to ignore the request of the use of your common damn sense in #4, please heed this advice: After you have sacrificed your body, mind and dignity wrestling with the "sliding metal bastards" don't expect everyone that you've inadvertently violated on the train to be pleasant. No, I will not move. I will not relinquish my position holding the vertical poles and switch to monkey bar poles for you. You are not worthy.
6) Speaking of self worth, if you have determined that your life (or that of another) is not worthwhile, please resolve this issue in an area that is *not* a metro station. I'm very sorry that the only option you seem to have is to jump in front of a moving train or to push someone into one, however... I (and many other commuters) would really appreciate it if you stopped doing this. Especially during rush hour. Especially on the Red line. If you just can't find another effective method, could you maybe consider doing it at Huntington?
7) I don't want to hear your go-go bullshit. Turn it down or get some earphones (if you are blasting it from your phones speaker).
8) Don't fall asleep on me. I'm not your 'Sleep Number'.
9) Don't sneeze on the back of my neck. That shit is rude.
*I will spell check and format later*
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